Does this person make me feel like I’m lost without them?.Am I afraid of what people will think of me if this relationship fails?.Is the only thing holding me back my fear of newness?.Do I smile when I want to yell, and then yell at the wrong people?.If it’s a romantic relationship, are the sparks dead-end of story?.Am I completely fatigued when I’m with the person and energetic when they’re gone?.Is blaming and complaining getting really old?.Does this relationship take more energy than it gives?.Is getting an apology (when it’s truly deserved) like pulling teeth?.Am I the only one that is willing to meet in the middle?.Do I constantly picture an alternate reality?.Is the pain too great to stay the same?.You may need to do this exercise for weeks or months before you’re ready to say sayonara. Guess what? Your soul said that-loud and clear. After you’ve gotten it all out, sit back and reflect on your words. Ask yourself any of the following sample questions and then write freely. I write, uncover, release, write, cry, write, rage, write, sigh, write, nap… write. How do you honestly feel about the person in question? When I find myself in a pain cave, I crack open my journal for some good old scribble therapy. Start by observing the thoughts running through your head. How to Identify Toxic Relationships Let’s get brave and tell the truth. Is it ever a good time to stuff your feelings and soldier on? To exhaust yourself mentally and physically? Is it ever a good time to operate from a place of shame or guilt? Or, continually repeat the same behavior that created the problems in the first place? Habitually attempting to fix the unfixable is crazy-making. I’m too busy, too tired, too broke, too needy, too not-enough.”īut, there’s another side to this story-the one that takes your well-being into account. “This is the worst time to make a change. There are countless rational excuses that keep us stuck. It’s often more comfortable to stay in the broken places rather than risk the glorious (and terrifying) unknown. Friends, boyfriends, fiancés (yes, I’ve had a few), work relationships, family members-you name it, it’s fallen apart. While I’m not a breakup expert, I’ve done it many times, and it’s been done to me. Gracefully ending a toxic relationship or one that no longer serves you might just be what the doctor ordered. That’s why today’s post is a meditation on moving on. Not everyone deserves an all-access pass. We get to decide who we allow into our inner sanctum (the space where our spirits replenish, our hearts open and our being renews). Yet sometimes, that harmony comes from making tough decisions about our relationships. As wellness seekers, we’re constantly looking for ways to find harmony on our plates, in our bodies and throughout our lives.
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